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:swansong.
User deleted
IT
[Debutto allo ECW on Sci-Fi del 4 luglio 2006] «Non lasciate che questi tatuaggi vi ingannino. Io sono uno Straight Edge, sono un uomo dal grande senso della disciplina: non bevo, non fumo, non mi drogo... La mia droga è il wrestling, la mia ossessione è la competizione. Disciplina. Il mio nome è C... M... Punk».
[Dopo il main event di Raw Roulette del 27 giugno 2011] «John Cena, mentre te ne stai sdraiato lì, e spero che tu sia scomodo come non mai, voglio che tu mi ascolti. Voglio che tu assimili bene il mio discorso, perché prima che me ne vada, tra 3 settimane, con il tuo titolo WWE, ho parecchi sassolini che voglio togliermi dalle scarpe. Io non ti odio, John e nemmeno ti disprezzo. In realtà io ti apprezzo, ti apprezzo nettamente di più di quanto non apprezzi gran parte dei nostri colleghi. Io odio l’idea che tu sia il migliore. Perché non lo sei! Io sono il migliore. Io sono il migliore del mondo! C’è solo una cosa in cui tu sei migliore di me, ed è leccare il culo a Vince McMahon. Sei bravo a leccare il culo a Vince McMahon tanto quanto lo era Hulk Hogan. Non so sei bravo quanto Dwayne [Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson], però. Lui è un leccaculo coi fiocchi. Lo è sempre stato e lo è ancora. Ooops… sto uscendo dal personaggio! Io sono il miglior wrestler del mondo. Sono sempre stato il migliore, fin dal primo giorno. Quando sono approdato in questa federazione e sono stato svilito e odiato fin da allora, perché Paul Heyman vide qualcosa in me che nessun altro voleva ammettere. Esatto, io sono un pupillo di Paul Heyman. E sapete chi altri era un pupillo di Paul Heyman? Brock Lesnar! E lui ha salutato la compagnia, proprio come sto per fare io. Ma la più grande differenza tra me e Brock è che io me ne andrò con il titolo WWE. Ho conquistato così tanti degli immaginari allori di Vincent K. McMahon, che finalmente mi è chiaro: è proprio questo il punto, sono totalmente immaginari! L’unica cosa reale sono io, e il fatto che giorno dopo giorno, da quasi sei anni, dimostro a tutto il mondo che io sono il migliore al microfono, sul ring e persino al commento! Nessuno sfiora il mio livello! Eppure, non importa quante volte lo dimostri. Non sono su quelle splendide tazze da collezione, non sono sulla copertina del programma, a malapena mi pubblicizzano, non mi fanno partecipare ai film, ovviamente non andrò mai su quei programmi merdosi sulle tv americane. Non sono sul poster di WrestleMania, non sono sulla sigla che viene prodotta a inizio show. Non vado da Conan O’Brien, non vado da Jimmy Fallon, ma la verità dei fatti è che non me ne frega niente. E fidati, non è la storia della volpe e l’uva. Ma il fatto che Dwayne sia nel main event di WrestleMania dell’anno prossimo e io no, mi fa schifo! Ah, ehi! Lasciatemi mettere in chiaro una cosa: voi che mi state acclamando adesso, voi siete il motivo principale per cui me ne vado! Perché siete voi quelli che bevono da quelle tazze da collezione, siete voi quelli che comprano le riviste sulla cui copertina non c’è il mio volto, e poi alle 5 del mattino in aeroporto cercate di sbattermele in faccia per farvele autografare e poi provare a rivenderle su E-bay, perché siete troppo pigri per trovarvi un vero lavoro! Io me ne andrò con il titolo WWE il 17 luglio e chissà, forse andrò a difenderlo alla New Japan Pro Wrestling, forse tornerò alla Ring Of Honor! Ehi, Colt Cabana! Come stai? Il motivo per cui me ne vado siete voi, perché dopo che me ne sarò andato voi continuerete a buttare soldi in questa azienda. Io sono soltanto un granello nell’ingranaggio. L’ingranaggio continuerà a girare e questo lo capisco. Ma Vince McMahon continuerà a fare soldi nonostante i suoi errori. È un milionario che dovrebbe essere un miliardario. E sapete perché non è un miliardario? Perché si circonda di sottomessi, insulsi e rincoglioniti yes-man, come John Laurinaitis, che gli dicono tutto quello che vuole sentirsi dire. E vorrei poter pensare che dopo la morte di Vince McMahon questa azienda andrà meglio, ma la realtà è che le redini saranno prese da quell’idiota di sua figlia [Stephanie McMahon] da quel minchione del suo genero [Triple H] e dal resto della sua stupida famiglia! Lasciate che vi racconti un aneddoto privato su Vince McMahon. Noi facciamo tutta questa campagna contro il bullismo...». [Gli spengono il microfono]
[Prima del match di Mark Henry di Raw del 9 aprile 2012] «Capisco che lo Straight-Edge è un concetto che non tutti possono comprendere. Lo sento da una vita intera. “Hey Punk è solo un bicchiere! Hey Punk è solo una sigaretta non mi sembra una tragedia!”. E io capisco quel punto di vista ma lasciate che ve lo spiego a modo mio: essere Straight-Edge è una scelta personale, io non ho fatto questa scelta per essere parte di un gruppo, non l’ho fatta per essere figo perché onestamente per metà della mia vita sono stato esattamente l’opposto, non è stata una scelta che ho fatto per essere alla moda, è una scelta che ho fatto perché non è nient’altro che questo, uno stile di vita. E io sono venuto qua molte volte a spiegarvi quanto sono fiero di essere Straight-Edge. I motivi per cui sono Straight-Edge lo ho sempre tenuti al riparo da occhi indiscreti ho sempre cercato di tenerli riservati per un paio di motivi: uno, perché non credo siano affari degli altri; due, non ho mai voluto che qualcuno provasse compassione per me e di sicuro non ho mai voluto cercare scuse per come sono».
EN
«Straight edge means I’m drug free, alcohol free, and better than you».
«You just got Punk’d!».
«It’s clobberin’ time!».
«Best in the World».
[Ring of Honor: WrestleRave ‘03. June 28, 2003 | Promo aimed at Raven after a tag team match with Colt Cabana against Raven and Christopher Daniels] «Before you cut me off, Raven, the reason I hate you, the reason in my heart of hearts why I hate you, is I didn’t know any better when I was a little kid. When my dad came home smelling like beer. I thought it was a hard day’s work he was doing. I didn’t realize he was out at a bar. I didn’t realize ‘work’ meant ‘unemployment office.’ I didn’t think it was strange for someone to come home and take an Old Style up into the shower. I didn’t think it was strange for somebody to pass out. I thought an Old Style, a pack a day, was the norm. Raven, my father is exactly like you. Since day one of Ring of Honor, where fighting spirit is supposed to be revered, things aren’t supposed to be this way! I’d shake your hand like a normal man, but the thing is, I don’t respect you! I hate you! I hate you for everything you’ve pissed away! Everything I’ve scrapped and clawed for that I haven’t even earned yet! That you got handed to you and you flushed down the toilet! For what? For pills? For booze? For alcohol? For women? I’m born of your poison society. So, on the seventeenth of July, I will become a monster to fight the monsters of the world! Your time in Ring of Honor will be done. That is a promise. This is true! This is real! This is straight edge!».
[Ring of Honor, Death Before Dishonor III. June 18, 2005 | This promo took place directly after Punk defeated Austin Aries for the ROH World Championship proceeding to turn the, at the time face, Punk heel. Directly after this promo Christopher Daniels made his first appearance in ROH in over a year to challenge for the belt. This promo also made reference to an old parable about an animal doing an act of kindness to another creature that is venomous and being surprised when the animal injects the venom to the creature after the act of kindness who then proceeds to explain it is their nature to perform the act] «Isn’t this the prettiest little thing you’ve ever seen? It was over a year ago I held this belt high in the air after I fought for it for the first time in Dayton, Ohio against Samoa Joe and I proclaimed this belt the most important thing to me. Right now, in my hands, as of this day June 18th, 2005. This becomes the most important belt in the world! This belt in the hands of any other man is just a belt, but in my hands it becomes power. Just like this microphone in the hands of any of the boys in the back is just a microphone, but in the hands of a dangerous man like myself it becomes a pipe-bomb. These words that I speak spoken but anybody else are just words strung loosely together to form sentences. What I say I mean, and what I mean I say, and they become anthems! You see, if I could be afforded the time here a little bit of a story. There was once an old man, walking home from work. He was walking in the snow, and he stumbled upon a snake frozen in the ice. He took that snake, and he brought it home, and he took care of it, and he thawed it out, and he nursed it back to health. And as soon as that snake was well enough, it bit the old man. And as the old man lay there dying he asked the snake, “Why? I took care of you. I loved you. I saved your life”. And that snake looked that man right in the eye and said, “You stupid old man. I’m a snake”. The greatest thing the devil ever did was make you people believe he didn’t exist...and you’re looking at him right now! I AM THE DEVIL HIMSELF! And all of you stupid, mindless people fell for it! You all believed in the same make-believe superhero that the legendary Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat saw some year ago today. No, you see, you don’t know anything. You followed me hook-line and sinker, all of you did, and I’m not mad at you...I just feel sorry for you. This belongs to me! Everything you see here belongs to me, and I did what I had to do to get my hands on this. Now I am the GREATEST PRO WRESTLER walkin’ the Earth today! This is my stage, this is my theater, you are my puppets! When I pulled those marionette strings, and I moved your emotions, and I played with them, and honestly it’s ‘cause I get off on it. I hate each and every single one of you with a thousand burns and I will not stop...I will not stop until I prove that I am better than you, that I am better than Low Ki, that I am better than AJ Styles! I’m better than Samoa Joe. Ladies and gentlemen, the champ is here! You don’t have to love it, but you better learn to accept it. ‘Cause I’m taking this with me, and there’s not a single person in that locker room that can stop me!».
«I don’t know if you guys know this but I’m sort of a big deal».
[Independent Wrestling Association Mid-South. June 11th, 2005. | While on commentary during Samoa Joe vs Necro Butcher, dryly introducing himself to his ex-manager Dave Prazak and Eddie Kingston] «I’m going to pull my car around, Joe’s is going to throw him out the front door and I’m gonna run the son of a bitch over! If he kicks at two, I’ll drive that car right into the ocean».
[When heckling an audience member] «You dumb bitch I’m not holding microphone».
[Full Impact Pro “Fallout: Night 2” in Tampa, Florida. November 13, 2004 | During his Falls Count Anywhere match against then FIP Champion Homicide, Homicide and CM Punk ended up fighting in a strip club, where CM Punk shouted the remark at one of the strippers] «You’re a whore!».
[WWE Raw. August 11, 2008 | During a promo with JBL where JBL wanted him to have a drinking contest] «Sometimes it’s what you don’t do that makes you who you are».
[WWE Raw. October 25, 2010] «I hear you guys all the time talking about Daniel Bryan, trained by Shawn Michaels. One curious thing to me is, how come you guys never mention William Regal? William Regal did the real work with this young man. Shawn Michaels took $3,000 from him, that's all he ever did».
[Slammy Awards. December 13, 2010 | During The Miz segment with the “Miz girl”. Punk is actually referring to his own disturbing segment in which he sang “Happy birthday” to Rey Mysterio’s daughter on SmackDown] «Ahhh... Is he gonna sing “Happy birthday” to her next?».
[WWE Raw. December 27, 2010]
CM Punk: «Wow, everybody, it’s John Cena. He comes out here every Monday night, he’s excitable, he throws his hat at somebody, everybody loves it. I am so impressed at how you do that. You get all these people to believe you’re that friendly, smiling, everyday man, when I know the truth. And the truth, John Cena, is you're thoughtless, you’re heartless, and above all else, you are dishonest. I’m sure there’s millions of people worldwide, including yourself, that would love to believe this is over a spilled diet soda, but John, this goes way beyond my spilled diet soda. Yeah. John, you were fired from the WWE. You were gone. You gave a very tear-inducing speech in the middle of the ring about how you finally get to see your mom and hang out with your little brother, and you said you were gonna go away. You were gonna be a man of your way, but what happened? You came back later that night, and then you came back the next week, and then you came back the next week, showing all of these people who aren’t intelligent to see through your facade what I have known all along: that your word is absolutely worthless. And then there’s TLC, you have the man beaten. Wade Barrett, a very tough individual, and you have him beat in a chairs match, but that’s not good enough for you. You don’t take the high ground, you can’t walk off into the sunset with your victory; you drag the man off to the side of the stage and you drop fifteen steel chairs on him, and I wanna know exactly why you think that’s acceptable behavior. I wanna know why you think it’s okay to show up the next night on Raw and humiliate the poor guy...».
John Cena: «That is balderdash! Fifteen steel chairs? That’s insane. It was twenty-three steel chairs. And in case you forgot, Wade Barrett and the Nexus gave me about five thousand beatdowns, made me their personal slave, and ended my career».
CM Punk: «You wanna talk about ended careers, you hypocrite? This is exactly what I’m talking about. You ended the career of my good friend Dave Batista. John! John, look at me when I’m talking to you. This is a reoccurring pattern with you. Once again, you have the man beaten: last man standing, he verbally submits, how humiliating, the match is won. But, no, you AA him off a car through the very steel ramp that I’m sitting on, which facilitated the end of his career. Now we’ll talk about Vickie Guerrero. I’m surprised the lovely Vickie Guerrero doesn’t up and quit based on all the abuse you heap on her. It’s not just the physical things to the Wade Barretts and the Dave Batistas, but it’s the name-calling, it’s the mental abuse to somebody as gorgeous and beautiful as Vickie Guerrero».
John Cena: «“It’s the this...it’s the that”. Okay, CM Punk is gonna play Mr. Fingerpointer. Well... One, Dave Batista broke my neck; Two, He showed up on Raw the next night and quit on his own terms. And C—I didn’t just single out Vickie Guerrero. In case you haven’t been watching for the past... eight years, I talk about everybody. Uh... Michael Cole. Michael Cole has an anonymous fetish with Justin Beiber and has the word “The Miz” manscaped right below his belly button. Me! Look at me. I look like the crazy sex child of the Incredible Hulk and Grimace. And then there’s you».
CM Punk: «Yeah, and then there’s me, who happens to not be laughing. I don’t know if you noticed that. You’re not funny».
[WWE Raw. June 20, 2011] Michael Cole: [Reading e-mail from RAW’s anonymous GM] «And I quote: “Mr. Punk, I understand your demands and I will certainly take them under consideration. However, right now, I’ll ask you to leave the ring”».
CM Punk: «Okay...Cole, you know I love ya, I know you’re just doing your job, but he’s asking me to leave the ring? He/she is asking me to leave the ring? Okay, I’m not...».
[The GM chime rings again]
Michael Cole: «And I quote: “I suggest you leave the ring right now”».
CM Punk: «Until you announce me as the first contender for the WWE Championship, I suggest you watch me make snow angels».
[WWE Raw. June 27, 2011]
«John Cena, while you lay there hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in three weeks with your WWE Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest. I don’t hate you, John. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you; I like you a hell lot more than I like most people in the back. I hate this idea that you’re the best... because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in the world. There’s one thing that you’re better at than I am, and that’s kissing Vince McMahon’s ass. You’re as good at kissing Vince’s ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Dwayne [Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson though: he’s a pretty good ass-kisser, always was and still is. [Turns to camera and waves] Whoops, I’m breaking the fourth wall.
I am the best wrestler in the world. I’ve been the best ever since day one when I walked into this company, and I’ve been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right, I’m a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar, and he split just like I’m splitting, but the biggest difference between me and Brock is I’m going to leave with the WWE Championship.
I’ve grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon’s imaginary brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that they’re just that: they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me, and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I’ve proved to everybody in the world that I’m the best on this microphone, in that ring, even at commentary! Nobody can touch me! And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little collector cups, I’m not on the cover of the program, I’m barely promoted, I don’t get to be in movies, I’m certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network, I’m not on the poster of WrestleMania, I’m not on the signature that’s produced at the start of the show! I’m not on Conan O’Brien, I’m not on Jimmy Fallon, but the fact of the matter is I should be; and trust me, this isn’t sour grapes, but the fact that Dwayne is in the main event of WrestleMania next year and I’m not makes me sick!
[Turns to the fans] Oh, hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just the biggest part of me leaving as anything else, because you’re the ones that are sipping out of those collector cups right now; you’re the ones that buy those programs that my face isn’t on the cover of, and then at 5:00 in the morning at the airport, you try and shove it in my face so you can get an autograph and try to sell it on eBay because you’re too lazy to go get a real job!
I’m leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17, and hell, who knows? Maybe I’ll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe I’ll go back to Ring of Honor. [Waves to camera] Hey, Colt Cabana, how you doing? The reason I’m leaving is you people because after I’m gone, you’re still gonna pour money into this company. I’m just a spoke on the wheel, the wheel’s gonna keep turning and I understand that. But Vince McMahon’s gonna make money despite himself. He’s a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he’s not a billionaire? It’s ’cause he surrounds himself with glad-handing, nonsensical douchebag yes-men like John Laurinaitis who’s gonna tell him everything that he wants to hear. And I’d like to think that maybe this company will be better after Vince McMahon’s dead, but the fact is it’s gonna get taken over by his idiotic daughter [Stephanie McMahon] and his doofus son-in-law [Triple H] and the rest of his stupid family! Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon. All right. We’re doing this whole bullying campaign...». [The mic cuts off]
[WWE Raw. July 11, 2011]
CM Punk: «I’m not gonna have you sit here and belittle me. Say I've lost sight? I’ve lost sight of things, John? The reason I say I’m gonna take that and walk out is because I don’t fit a certain mold. Because I am the underdog, and that’s exactly what you've lost sight of. Earlier in this ring, you mentioned great wrestlers like Eddie Guerrero and you said they used to look at you and say that the kid couldn’t hang. And now you stand here and look at me as the kid that can’t hang. John, I was hanging off of your gangster car, WrestleMania 22, as it rolled down in Chicago, Illinois, and I stood there in a suit looking as ridiculous as [Points to Vince McMahon] that man looks right now in his suit, holding a phony Tommy gun, and I said to myself someday, I’m not gonna be standing out there watching you in the ring; I was gonna be in the ring watching you go down to CM Punk. And now here we are in your hometown of Boston. And now next week, we’ll be back there in my hometown: Chicago, Illinois. And this... this is the part where I talk ‘em into the building. See, you are the one that’s lost sight, and I apologize for raising my voice because I’m not that guy. But when you stand here and tell me that I’ve lost sight, when you, the 10-time Champion who stands for hustle, loyalty and respect; who, from Boston, Massachusetts, lives and breathes these red colors, the same colors as your beloved Red Sox, who also portray themselves as the underdog, I’m sure just like the Bruins portray themselves as the underdog. Just like the Patriots think they’re the underdog! Hey, how about those Celtics? Are they the underdogs too? Here’s what you’ve lost sight of, John, and I’m really happy that your father and your wife are sitting in the front row so they can hear it!».
John Cena: «That’s the last time I'm gonna tell you, man, ease up».
CM Punk: «What you’ve lost sight of is what you are, and what you are is what you hate. You’re the 10-time WWE Champion! You’re the man! You, like the Red Sox, like Boston, are no longer the underdog! You’re a dynasty. You are what you hate. You have become the New York Yankees! [John Cena immediately punches CM Punk, who scoots out of the ring, grabs the contract, and goes up the ramp. Points respectively to Vince McMahon and John Cena] You’re Steinbrenner, and you might as well be Jeter! Mr. 3000, I’m the underdog! [John Cena’s music plays for fourteen seconds] Turn it off! Turn the music off because I have something to say, and I’m positive that everybody here wants to hear it, and everybody sitting at home has their DVRs fired up because they wanna hear it! I’m glad you just punched me in the face, John. I’m glad it went down this way because it hit me like a bolt of lightning: exactly why I no longer wanna be here, why I wanna leave. It’s because I’m tired of this. I’m tired of you. I’m just tired. So ladies and gentlemen of the WWE Universe, Vince, John, Sunday night, say goodbye to the WWE Title, say goodbye to John Cena, and say goodbye to CM Punk! [Rips up the contract] I’ll go be the best in the world somewhere else».
[WWE Raw. October 10, 2011]
CM Punk: «I can’t help but feel a little resp... hell, who am I kidding? I feel like I started this whole thing. This is all my fault. I’ve been at the epicenter of everything controversial ever since you took over: actually, since before that, I’m sure you remember, John-Boy».
John Cena: «I was there».
CM Punk: «You were there. I’m the guy that made walking out look cool. The thing about is I think everybody in the parking lot having a picnic right now have completely misunderstood what I was trying to do. See, I didn’t break my contract, I didn’t break my word. My contract expired, and I was trying to prove a point to an entire company, not just one man. If anybody has any reason to walk out of the WWE, well you can probably put me at the top of that list. I mean, my microphone constantly cuts out, your friend Kevin Nash runs through the... well, slowly, briskly runs through the crowd, jumps me and screws me not once, but twice. Somebody here doesn’t want me to be the WWE Champion. The thing about it is this entire industry is based on men solving their problems in between these ropes. This is the company that gives you Hell in a Cell, this is the company that gives you the Elimination Chamber. I don’t wanna sound like a broken record, but “unsafe working environment”? I thrive on that! Hell, this is professional wrestling, this ain’t ballet! If you believe in something, you stand and you fight, and you fight on the front line; you don’t have a hippie sit-in and grill tofu dogs in the parking lot like a bunch of hippies. [To Triple H] When I had a problem with you and your authority, I dealt with you personally. [To John Cena] And you, you big boy scout, when I had a problem with you being the poster boy for this company, I dealt with you personally. Shea-Mo, I’m sure sooner or later, you’re gonna step on my toes, I will deal with you personally. Now, I know you three smiley good guys look across the ring from me, and I’m the last guy you expect to see here, [to Triple H] and I know I’m the last guy you expect to see in the foxhole with you. But you know what? Here I am. So...so I got a question: what do we do now?».
Triple H: «“What do we do now?”. That’s a big question, “what do we do now?”. I say we do what we do on Monday Night Raw: we shut up and fight! How about this? As long as you guys are in agreement, Sheamus, you got yourself a match, fella. Tonight, right here, right now, you will go one-on-one with... [CM Punk raises his hand] one John Cena. And since I’m the only guy kinda wearing stripes out here, I’ll referee. And, foxhole buddy, I got a whole table over there lined up with headphones and pipe bombs just waiting for you with your name on it. And if you want, you can go over there and say anything you feel like».
CM Punk: «You want me to do commentary?!».
Triple H: «I want you to do commentary».
CM Punk: «Can I wear your blazer?!».
Triple H: «You can even wear my blazer!».
CM Punk: «I’m in!».
[WWE Raw. October 24, 2011]
CM Punk: [After hearing John Laurinaitis propose a WWE Championship match at Survivor Series against Alberto Del Rio] «Okay, pardon me for not being all smiles, that’s exactly what I want, but...what’s the catch? You gonna make it a handicap match, or is Ricardo Rodriguez the special guest referee? No, are you gonna be the special guest ring announcer with your majestic voice?
John Laurinaitis: Punk, there’s only one thing you have to do
CM Punk: «There’s one thing I have to do... for you. I have to do something for you to get a title shot? Let me guess: I gotta re-grip your skateboard, you need new ball bearings?».
John Laurinaitis: «You know what, Punk? I know you don’t like me, okay? And that's okay. I’m not playing the part of Executive Vice President of Talent Relations, I am the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and the General Manager of Raw. So in order for me to make it official, you need to tell me in front of the WWE Universe that you respect me. Tell me that you respect me».
CM Punk: «Are you Aretha Franklin? You want me to tell these people I respect you when I know clearly that you don’t respect me ‘cause I don’t wear a bourgeois suit and I don’t tow the company line? You wanna talk about respect? Respect, Johnny, is earned, it isn’t just given. And you’re gonna come out here and say that when you’re in charge, this place...this place is just oh so run like a tight ship. Have you watched the product? We’ve got rings collapsing, you got Kevin Nash interfering in every other match of mine; this place isn’t any better with you in charge. How’s that for respect?».
John Laurinaitis: «Punk, you’re about to make a big mistake. Okay, swallow your pride, stand up like a man, and tell me that you respect me».
CM Punk: «Okay. All right. Don’t get hot. [Imitating John Laurinaitis] “I respect you, Funk-man”. That all right? Was that good enough?».
John Laurinaitis: «I tell you what, Punk. You’ve got one more chance to show me and tell me you respect me, and I mean it».
CM Punk: «Okay, Mr. Laurinaitis, sir, Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and interim Raw General Manager. I respect you. I respect the fact that each week, you come out here in front of the millions of fans in the WWE Universe, live on the USA Network, with this awesome, completely lost deer-in-the-headlights look on your face; I respect the fact that you don’t know how close to hold the microphone to your mouth when you speak; I respect the fact that you used to compete in this ring with your awesome Kentucky waterfall mullet, and you were never any good, but you somehow still ascended to the top of the WWE corporate structure, showing the world new-found levels of brown-nosery; but above all, I respect the fact that never before in this business has somebody with so little done so much! I respect you! How's that sound?! Does that sound good enough for you?!».
[WWE Raw. December 5, 2011 | To Alberto Del Rio] «If you say because it’s your destiny, I swear to Jebus, I’m gonna start drinking».
[TLC 2011]
CM Punk: «Well, I’ve had six days to watch that scene over and over and over, and as painful as it was to watch, as painful it was to experience, I saw something more painful. Something caught my eye that was ten times more painful than my arm being mangled inside of a ladder while Alberto wrenched on it with his cross-armbreaker; it was more painful than Alberto butchering the English language; it was more painful than watching Miz [demonstrates] make his own bad-guy face, and his pathetic attempts to sound like a tough guy: “Really? really?”. It was more painful than sitting through two hours of Michael Cole commentary as he struggles to sound relevant. No, I continued to watch Monday Night Raw, and what I saw was old clownshoes himself, the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim Raw General Manager, John Laurinaitis accept an award on my behalf. This wasn’t just any award, it was the Slammy Award for Superstar of the Year, being accepted by a guy who’s never been a superstar of thirty seconds. I mean, who’s he ever beat? And I’m not a hard guy to find, I’ve yet to receive said Slammy. So what... [turns around and notices] oh. Speak of the devil. No, no, no, don't apologize. Where’s my Slammy at?».
John Laurinaitis: «Punk, I mailed your Slammy to you, but with the holiday season, it may take a while to get to you. But if I were you, I’d be more worried about your championship match tonight than your Slammy».
CM Punk: «Well, if I were you, I’d wish myself best of luck in my future endeavors. But I don’t expect you to do that; in fact, you wouldn’t do that, just like I’m not gonna lose the Title tonight. So when TLC is over with, you’re still gonna have to put up with CM Punk as your WWE Champion».
John Laurinaitis: «You know what, Punk? I’m gonna be the bigger man right now, okay? I mean, after all, I am taller than you. Good luck tonight, and merry Christmas».
CM Punk: «Johnny, luck’s for losers».
[Extreme Championship Wrestling. October 3, 2006 | To Mike Knox when he told Punk to “Stay the hell away from my girl” (his “girl” at the time being Kelly Kelly)]
«Mike Knox, I am also getting real sick of this! Your problem isn’t me staying away from your girl... Your problem is your girl staying away from me!».
[Survivor Series. November 26th, 2006 | Performing the trademark quote of D-Generation X while teaming with them and The Hardy Boyz just prior to their match]
«Philadelphia... are you ready?».
[Extreme Championship Wrestling. April 17th, 2007 | Announcing his official New Breed (heel) status. This would only last for a very short time]
«I am officially a member of The New Breed!».
[Extreme Championship Wrestling. April 17th, 2007] «Hey Rob. I think you should challenge a real New Breed Leader. Me!».
[Extreme Championship Wrestling. April 17th, 2007] «Thanks for your questions, Elijah Burke, but I like to keep my reasons for joining The New Breed to myself».
[Extreme Championship Wrestling. August 21, 2007 | To Vince McMahon when he said there was no way CM Punk could be his illegitimate son because of Punk being straight edge]
«You know, there’s one other thing I don’t do, Vince. I don’t have dirty, unprotected sex with some money grubbing skank who eventually files a paternity suit against me, which gets me kicked out of my own house and leaves me nothing but a living, breathing national disgrace».
[Extreme Championship Wrestling. September 4, 2007 | To Armando Estrada when he wished CM Punk good luck in his “Last Chance” match with John Morrison]
«Luck? Good luck? GM, the last time I checked, luck is for losers».
[Extreme Championship Wrestling. October 23, 2007 | To Balls Mahoney after he described his “date” with Kelly Kelly by chuckling perversely, to which Mahoney Balls replies: “Yeah, that's what she said too”.]
«Balls...that is disturbing».
[Extreme Championship Wrestling | Towards Chavo]
«I am nobody’s stepping stone!».
[Extreme Championship Wrestling | To Edge]
«Unlike you Edge, I show respect to my opponents!».
[Friday Night SmackDown. June 19, 2009 | Answering Josh Mathews’ question addressing fan perception that he took advantage of a vulnerable Jeff Hardy and stole the World Heavyweight Championship at Extreme Rules]
«The only thing I took advantage of at Extreme Rules was an opportunity to cash in my Money in the Bank contract, which I did successfully, well within the rules. You know, Jeff knows this, you know this, the fans know this: nowhere on that contract does it say, under any circumstances, “Do not cash in on Jeff Hardy”».
[Friday Night SmackDown. July 3, 2009 | Towards Jeff Hardy. Used as a multiple meaning phrase referring to the fact that Jeff Hardy was contemplating hitting CM Punk, Jeff Hardy having yet to sign a new contract extension with WWE in real life, and Jeff Hardy’s history of being unable to say no to drugs, also real life]
«Just… say… no».
[Friday Night SmackDown. July 10, 2009 | Addressing Jeff Hardy before his match with the Great Khali, both to prove that his eye injury is real (in storyline) and to drive home a point about the drug-related mistakes of Jeff’s past as recently as 16 months ago]
«Are you proud o’ yourself, Jeff? I could’ve been seriously injured last week. And you got a lot of nerve faking an eye injury and leaving me to fend for myself, especially considering you’re the one who injured my eye in the first place. As far as what you said earlier about me making the whole thing up, coming out here with your cute eyepatch mocking me: I wanna show you something, Jeff. [Takes out a little plastic jar of some sort of liquid eye medicine] This, is polymoxin bisulfate. I have to apply this to my eye three times a day. The only way you obtain this is with a prescription, from a doctor. Now, I know, you know a thing or two about prescription medication, but I don’t think you realize is that you have to go to a doctor to legally obtain some. Unlike you, Jeff, this is the only foreign substance I will allow in my body. So if you wanna imitate me, why don't you try living a clean lifestyle? Why don’t you try living, a straightedge lifestyle? Jeff… you’ve got two strikes. You know how many I have? Zero. Jeff, you know how many times I’ve been suspended? Zero. You know how many times I’ve been to a rehab facility? That’s right- zero. And do you know what your chances are of beating me at Night of Champions? [Long pause] Zero».
[Friday Night SmackDown. July 17, 2009 | Beginning a lecture criticizing Jeff Hardy on being proud of the fact that he hasn’t failed a drug test in over a year, despite the fact that he’d already failed two beforehand and would’ve been fired if he’d failed a third one]
«I’m sorry, Jeff, I’m a little taken back right now. I mean, this is… this… this is what it comes to? People actually cheering because you haven’t failed a drug test in a year? This is not an accomplishment! Maybe it’s an accomplishment to you, Jeff, so congratulations. You haven’t failed a drug test in three hundred and sixty-five days. You can start writing your Hall of Fame speech right now».
[Friday Night SmackDown. July 24, 2009]
«I’ve come out here tonight to challenge you...challenge you, the WWE Universe, into seeing things my way and to learn how to just say “no”. See, because the people who cheer for Jeff Hardy are just slaves to the vices associated with his [With quote fingers] “living in the moment”. I feel bad for you, I really do. You walk around almost blind and you wear your prescriptions proudly on your sleeves like they were badges of honor. What was it the doctor told you? “Just take one...every four hours”, right? Aside from myself, there’s not a person in this arena who hasn’t abused prescription medication or taken a recreational drug. And I know, trust me, it’s hard being straight-edge, it’s hard to live a straight-edge lifestyle. It’s extremely difficult to be me, but what concerns me now is that none of you realize how much more difficult it is to live the life...that you all live. I’m positive nobody in here takes into account the long-term cosequences of alcohol on your liver. [Smattering of cheers from audience] See, and you cheer that. That’s nothing to cheer. You drink because it’s fun, right? [Audience cheers a little louder] Eventually, it’s not gonna be fun anymore when it spirals out of control and its no longer...it’s no longer fun. Sooner or later, you’re just drinking to feel normal. And then there’s the smokers. You know, I don’t know what’s more disgusting: is watching a smoker pollute his/her lungs with over four thousands foreign chemicals, or having to listen to the smoker convince themselves that they can quit whenever they want to. It’s...it’s hard to quit, I know, it takes a very strong person to quit, but an even stronger person never would've started smoking in the first place. [Audience boos and chants “Hardy”] I didn’t want to come out here and be the bearer of bad news, but let’s face facts: chances are pretty slim that any of you here will ever get the monkey off your back. You’ll never be able to pry the cigarette from your lips, or find the self-control to pour your drink from your glass, or the self-respect to take the pill out of your mouth. See, it starts, and it can’t happen without learning how to say “no” to temptation, and that's why I’m out here. I’m out here to challenge you before it’s too late. Please, learn how to say “no” to temptation, learn how to say “no” to your vices, learn how to control yourself».
[Night of Champions 2009]
«So all you people here, despite evidence to the contrary, still choose to support a man that for all intents and purposes can’t even support himself? OK, OK, so if you’re a Jeff Hardy fan, if you’re wearing a Jeff Hardy t-shirt, if you’re wearing one of his diabolical little handsleeves, God forbid if you have your face painted, I want to see you stand up right now. I want to hear you make some noise! Go ahead, if you love and support Jeff Hardy, let the world know! [Crowd cheers, stands up] Cameraman, cameraman get a good shot, get a real good shot at all these people. The truth is ladies and gentlemen, I don’t blame you. I don’t blame anybody here for supporting Jeff Hardy. The people I blame, are their parents. Or let’s be realistic here, I said parents, what I should have said was parent. Because it’s obviously a single parent situation, just like the way Jeff Hardy grew up. See you people are so concerned with the relationship with your children failing, just like your marriage did, that you acquiesce to their every whim and their every desire. I hate to tell you, this doesn't make you a good parent, Philadelphia, it makes you an enabler. [Crowd boos. Starts chanting for Jeff Hardy] And the fact that you even let your children look up to a guy like Jeff Hardy, just shows that you really don’t care what happens to them to begin with. It’s a sad situation. So I don’t blame anybody here or sitting at home watching this, that supports Jeff Hardy if they’re under seventeen, because they’re young and they’re, well, they’re impressionable. The real problem lies with the parents, it’s the parents who don’t make a conscious effort to sit their children down and teach them the proper way to live! [Crowd boos] You see it starts with a Jeff Hardy t-shirt, next thing you know they’re smoking a pack of cigarettes, after that, they’re drinking a bottle of beer. Right after that they move on to shots of Jack Daniels, which is a gateway drug for marijuana... [Crowd pops for marijuana] And the fact that you people sit here and cheer that goes to show that I’m telling the truth! How about some old fashioned street drugs? And before you know it they’re digging through Mom’s purse because they’re addicted, they're addicted to prescription medication. [Crowd cheers, CM Punk mouths, “That’s not cool!” to fans] All of this can be stopped before it’s too late! Parents, all you have to do is talk to your children. Sit them down and show them the way, tell them the words that can save their lives, show them that sometimes it’s what you don’t do that makes you who you are! For weeks, for weeks I’ve been saying to people like you, just say no. But today I think we should just say yes. Yes to the future of a straight edge, drug free America! Just say yes to the winner of tonight’s match, just say yes, to the World Heavyweight Champion! Thank you!».
[Friday Night SmackDown. August 7, 2009]
«I tried. I tried so hard to empathize with all of your weaknesses. I implored every single one of you to just say “no”, and all my empathy got was for you to love Jeff Hardy that much more than you already did. But this will not deter me. I will stay the course; I still believe in teaching you people the difference between right and wrong. [Audience chants “Hardy!”] Oh, obviously it’s gonna be challenging, listening to you people, and by the looks of some of you, it’s gonna be a big challenge. But just like any other challenge that’s come down the pipe in my lifetime, I’m gonna meet that challenge head on like a man, just like I did last week. Let’s take a look. [Recap of CM Punk’s assault on Jeff Hardy] See, now I know why you people love Jeff Hardy so much. It’s because you are all just like him; and, in turn, Jeff Hardy is just like all of you. The reality is, none of you have the strength to be straight-edge. [Audience resumes chant] You gravitate towards Jeff because it’s the easy way out: it’s easier to weak like Jeff, because you sure can’t be strong like me. Oh, you can boo all you want. I know why you boo, you know why you boo. It’s because I tell the truth. And the truth sometimes hurts, doesn’t it? For instance, what does it say on your prescription bottle of pills? “Take one every four hours”? Well, don’t tell me you people don’t gobble four, six, eight at a time like they were Pez. That is drug abuse: I don’t do that. I also don’t smoke, and those who do are stupid. You gotta be stupid to not listen to the Surgeon General, especially when he prints the warning label on the package of smokes. You gotta be a fool. And we can talk about those funny cigarettes, and you obviously know what I’m talking about because you cheer, and that’s utterly sad. That’s pathetic. I... I can’t even wrap my head around you people cheering, ‘cause when you smoke those funny cigarettes, not only is that hazardous to your health, it’s also illegal. So those who have taken a puff, not only are you poisoning yourself, you’re also breaking the law, so the vast majority of everybody here in this arena is a criminal. I am not a criminal: I never have been, and I never will be. Now let’s talk about alcohol. I’ve saved the best poison for last, see because this is a gateway drug. Don’t tell me not a single one of you here has ever said, “I’m gonna go out for one drink”, and one leads to two, and two drinks leads to three, and then it's a double of this, and a shot of that, and then your head winds up in the toilet, night in and night out. Congratulations, that is alcoholism. And in my book, if you even take one drink, you’re an alcoholic. So I understand why you people love Jeff Hardy so much, I understand why Jeff loves you: it’s because you’re all weak. Whether you like it or not, whether you know it or not, you deserve better. This entire world deserves better. What you need is a leader. You need a strong leader who’s gonna stand up in the face of adversity and just say “no”. You need a strong leader that’s gonna carry the banner of the World Heavyweight Championship with honor, with pride, respect, dignity, integrity, and class. What you people need is a straight-edge World Heavyweight Champion. You need CM Punk».
[Friday Night SmackDown. August 21, 2009 | Interrupting Jeff Hardy’s promo from the top of a ladder]
CM Punk: «Hey, Jeff. Jeff, aren’t you nervous sitting way up there so... high? Especially in the condition you’re in, and by “condition”, I mean that you’re probably drunk right now, just like all these people here tonight. [Crowd boos] Yeah, that’s something to be proud of, I mean, you’d have to be under the influence to stomach this “live in the moment” crap that you spew. What’s living in the moment gotten you, Jeff? I know it got you a night in a hospital, and for what? The adulation of these people? One brief moment of attention? [Crowd chants “Hardy”] You know, I don’t know what’s more pathetic: all these people hanging on your every word, waiting for the next pitiful example for you to set that they can lead, or you and your egotistical addiction to their cheers and support and adulation. Listen, listen to them, Jeff. They actually believe that you can beat me at SummerSlam».
[Crowd cheers]
Jeff Hardy: «So do I».
CM Punk: «So does our general manager. Teddy Long’s the guy that said TLC is your match. It’s Jeff Hardy’s match, everybody. They’re right, it is your match. This TLC is your last match. I know what I have to accomplish to get everything I want. When I beat you at SummerSlam and I take back my World Heavyweight Title, it will validate everything I’ve said in the past. I will prove once and for all, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that straight edge is the right way, that straight edge means I’m better than you. Jeff, I have to get rid of you to teach these people the difference between right and wrong. I have to get rid of you to teach them how to say, “just say no”, I have to get rid of you so they stop living in your moment, and they wake up, and they start living in my reality. Make no mistake about it, Jeff; there’s no turning back from this point on. You can talk about the space from the top of that ladder to this mat, but from here on out, there’s nothing left. At SummerSlam, I will hurt you, and I will remove you and the stain of all your bad examples from the WWE forever».
Jeff Hardy: «Punk, you can’t destroy me, you can’t destroy what I’ve created over my ten years here. Kansas City’s not gonna listen to you. You won’t beat me at SummerSlam, Punk. I will prove that I’m better than you in my specialty: Tables, Ladders, & Chairs».
CM Punk: «You’re right, Jeff. You know what, you wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them, because you need them to enable you. You need them to justify your reckless behavior with their support and their cheers, just like they need you to somehow justify their reckless behavior, with their smoking and their drinking and their use of prescription medication. They try in vain to live vicariously through a man who, by way of his lifestyle, thinks he can fly».
[SummerSlam 2009]
«I would love to talk to you about that, Josh, but there’s something else I want to bring up, and that’s this. [Holds up a screenplay entitled “Live For The Moment: The Jeff Hardy Story”] I had a friend in a fancy Hollywood agency the other day, and he ran across this little gem. Somebody actually took the time to write a screenplay about the Jeff Hardy story. So I was paging through it, and lo and behold, it culiminates, of course, with Jeff conquering his demons and beating me her tonight in a TLC match at SummerSlam. What a great feelgood story, Josh, all except, of course, for the ending, which is not reality: based. It’s fake, it’s phony, just like everybody who lives in this town. I’d go as far as to say that I’m the only real person in this building right now. I wish I could say it’s a Los Angeles epidemic, but the fact is it’s worldwide. You have people that falsely idolize what they see in movies and on television; you have housewives in Iowa that subscribe to U.S. Weekly, US Weekly, or whatever it’s called, so they can model their hair after Kate Gosselin, instead of helping their own children with their homework; you have little kids all over the world, millions of them, who idolize the “hip, cool star”, and it doesn’t matter if that hip cool star is some dork vampire in Twilight, or if it’s Jeff Hardy. It doesn’t matter if that hip cool star has a reprehensible, reckless lifestyle. You know, it doesn’t matter if the collective intelligence of this entire country continues to spiral downward, day in and day out. It doesn’t matter as long as it’s cool, right? You know why they don't make movies about a guy like me? It’s cause I don’t support your poisoned society. I don’t support this den of iniquity known as Hollywood. No, instead, I’m dismissed as being preachy, except I’m not preachy: I never have been. I just tell the truth. You know, I’m not a screenwriter either, but tonight I think I’ll take a stab at it. Tonight I’m gonna rewrite the ending of “The Jeff Hardy Story”. It’s gonna be horrifying. It’s gonna be very, very graphic. It might be hard to watch for a lot of people, but it will have a happy ending: new World Heavyweight Champion: CM Punk».
[Friday Night SmackDown]
«And the sad part is that you actually believe in The Undertaker. You actually believe that he has all these magic powers which is really all just smoke and mirrors».
[Friday Night SmackDown. September 4, 2009]
«I have no breaking point, and all you have to do is look in my eyes and realize I have laughed in the face of temptation time and time again. I have never tapped out to society’s attempts at peer pressure. You try to stick a beer in my hand with the same commercials that have hypnotized all of you people, and that sell you all your narcotics and things you’re addicted to. Well, I’m harder than any alcohol you can drink, I’m straighter than any line you can snort up your nose, and I certainly can hurt you a lot faster than any pill you put on your tongue».
[Friday Night SmackDown. September 25, 2009]
«Okay, I get it. You people destroy billions of brain cells on a daily basis with your excess consumption of alcoholic beverages, over-the-counter as well as prescription medication: the latter of which, chances are, aren’t even yours—and a veritable laundry list of substances that you shove into your soft little bodies day after day. The reason I bring up your chemically-induced mind is because I think the lot of you have forgotten my accomplishments, so please allow me to jog your ailing memory: I am the only three-time straight-edge World Heavyweight Champion in WWE history, I am the only Superstar in WWE history to win back-to-back Money in the Bank Ladder Matches at WrestleMania, and don’t forget I am the man that did you, the WWE Universe, a favor that you didn’t even deserve when I got rid of the Charismatic Enabler Jeff Hardy from this company...forever. But that runs a close second to my crowning achievement of using my Anaconda Vice and, for the first time, making the Undertaker [Makes the motion on his chest] tap out: I did that. Me. I did that, and I did it all without drugs, I did it all without alcohol, and above all else, I did it all without any help from any of you. So I want somebody, anybody in a position of power to come out here right now and treat me with the respect I have earned, not only as the face of SmackDown, but the poster boy of the entire company, and as the choice of a new generation, I deserve to know who my next opponent is now that I have defeated the all-powerful Undertaker. [Waits amidst the boos of the crowd] Oh, that’s right. There isn’t anybody left!».
[Friday Night SmackDown. September 25, 2009]
«Look at you people. Look at what’s become of the mighty United Kingdom. This land used to be filled with kings and knights and noblemen. You used to rule half the planet, and now you’re just as sad and pathetic as the Americans. You can pretend you’re not, you can pretend you don’t spend your days tucked away in some little pub downing your pints of ale; you can pretend you don’t spend every single night filling your lungs and those around you with carcinogens and poisons from your fancy cigarettes and trendy cigars; you can pretend you don’t knowingly stuff chewing tobacco in your mouth in one of the most disgusting habits I’ve ever seen in my life: something that will give you cancer inside of two years. You people are weak-minded. You have no heart, your spirit is broken. You’re practically decomposing right before my very eyes as I talk to you, and the only thing you can do is boo or wave a crooked little finger at me and accuse me of being preachy. You people need somebody as righteous as myself to preach to you the proper way to live. You should all aspire to be as great as I am. Do I think I’m better than you? Absolutely, and it’s not that hard because my mind is clear; my body, free of poison. Look at me: I am perfect in every way. My strength comes from within, and I don’t need a crutch to get through my everyday life like you people, and I certainly don’t need a crooked official like Scott Armstrong to fight my battles for me. I filed a formal complaint with the Board of Directors; and as far as tonight goes, I will beat R-Truth just like I’ll beat him at Survivor Series, and just like I can easily beat up everybody here in this arena today. Because I am the Choice of a New Generation, and R-Truth’s gonna come out here and ask you people, “What’s Up?” I’ll answer that little riddle for you right now. I tell you “what’s up” Straight-edge: that is what’s up. No narcotics, no drugs, no alcohol, no cigarettes, no prescription medication, and that, you sad, sad people, can save your entire pathetic country and the entire world».
[Friday Night SmackDown. November 13, 2009]
«Last week, I... I extended a hand to the WWE Universe in a much needed intervention. You know, i don’t know if you people know this or not, but i’m not the only one who knows that pills and cigarettes and alcohol are harmful. Medical science has proven this, so there’s a surgeon general put in place to put warning labels on all of these products. I guess he’s just there to warn the smart people that already know, huh? This is my crusade, and i will continue my crusade for as long as there are people who need help, as long as there are people out there who need change in their lives. One person in particular i’ve been helping for quite some time now, i’d like to introduce him to the world. Ladies and gentlemen, i give you... Luke Gallows. [Gallows raises his fist] That’s right, some of you may recognise him as “Festus”, but that was a lifetime ago. And it’s a lifetime that he’d just as soon regret. It’s a lifetime of torturous drug abuse and neglect, you see, it started just like it started for all of you people, one, one little pill. Just one little pill to take the edge off, one painkiller. And then one turns to two, two turns to four, four turns to eight, so on and so forth. And sure, his friends, his family were there, but they enabled him. They didn’t help him, they thought they were but they were slowly rotting him from the inside out. But then i helped him, just like i could help all of you. Trust me, this is just the start, this doesn’t end here, it begins here and now. I will continue to reach out and help those who can’t help themselves. Holds up brown paper bag On December 1st, this is scary, people, pay attention. On December 1st, a very dangerous addictive new drug hits the streets. Now this scares me because it’s a socially accepted over-the-counter drug and it’s gonna be widely available all over the world. And it’s scary because it’s more dangerous than any prescribed medication, it’s more harmful than chain smoking an entire carton of unfiltered cigarettes, it is more dangerous than corroding your liver with a fifth of gin or vodka and then chasing it with your Daddy’s favourite beer. [CM Punk pulls a Jeff Hardy DVD out of the bag] “Jeff Hardy, My Life, My Rules” And what an appropriate title, for a loser who destroyed his life and his career living by his rules. And what makes me sick to my stomach is Jeff didn’t just ruin his life, he didn’t just end his career. [Crowd chants “Hardy”] He ruined the lives of all his fans because he’s planted seeds of destruction in all of the people, all of the drug addicts like yourself who actually looked up to the Charismatic Enabler like he was some sort of a prophet. Well, if you people have any brain-cells left, if there’s anything left of your memory that’s not burnt out, all you need to know is that the last chapter of this DVD is the most important one you need to watch because it tells the whole story. It’s a cage match between myself and Jeff Hardy, where i ended Jeff’s career in the WWE... FOREVER! I’m the reason he’s not here! And i know how hard it is to deprogramme your weak little brains from all the lies you’ve been fed all over the years, but you owe it to yourselves. Look yourself in the mirror, search inside yourself for that shred of self-respect that might be left, and when it comes to this, when it comes to this garbage, [Holds up DVD] just say no».
[Friday Night SmackDown. January 29, 2010]
CM Punk: «Tonight, the Straight-edge Society becomes the first ever Straight-edge World Unified Tag Team Champions. I came out here for a reason, i came out with a purpose. I’m here to lead my crusade, [Crowd chants “You suck”] and I’ve brought my disciples, Luke Gallows and the beautiful Serena with me».
Triple H: «Punk, I have been watching Smackdown. And I gotta say, while I’m relieved to know that your straight, this whole I don’t drink thing, I don’t think anybody really gives a crap, do you know what I mean? [Crowd cheers]
CM Punk: «Your looking at three people who give a crap, and don’t try to pretend you know anything about me, or you know anything about Straight-edge, or you know anything about my society at all».
Triple H: «No, no, no, no, your right. I don’t know anything about it, I don’t get it, Punk, that’s the thing. I don’t get it, I mean you don’t drink, you don’t do drugs, you don’t smoke. Okay, neither do I. But then again, I don’t look like i’ve been on a week long crack binge with Amy Winehouse! [Serena shakes her head, CM Punk looks pissed] I’m just saying, have a little pride, man. Pick yourself up, clean yourself off. Maybe take them clippers out of the bag, shave that squirrel off you got on your chin. [CM Punk grabs his beard and mouths off] Hey, do yourself a favour. Grab a shower, cause I don’t know if it’s you, Lobotomy Man, or Britney Spears right there, but one of you’s got a bad case of swamp butt!».
CM Punk: «Alright, are you done? Is amateur comedy hour over? Because I came here to claim those tag titles!».
[Friday Night SmackDown. 2010]
«Whose it gonna be!? Whose it gonna be?! Whoever it is, I am better than them!».
[Friday Night SmackDown. 2010]
«I really hope that the symbolism isn’t lost on you four Superstars in the chamber right now, because it’s killing me. Here’s four extremely weak individuals that, every day, are locked inside a prison of addiction, like most of these people here today; and now, the four of you are locked inside the Elimination Chamber with me. And be sure, it's not me locked in here with you: it’s you locked in here with me. And tomorrow morning, when you're nursing the pain and the wounds that this chamber and myself have caused you, I want you to remember that when your pod door opens and you came out and I defeated you, don’t think of it as failure. Think of it as me saving you. [Standing over Rey Mysterio’s pod] Think of it as me setting you free».
[Elimination Chamber. February 21, 2010]
CM Punk: [To Undertaker, after elimination R-Truth] «You’d better pray that your pod door opens last, ‘cause when you come out, I’m gonna make you tap out, just like I did before. [To John Morrison] And I’m gonna prove to you that your decadent rock life will get you nowhere. I'm gonna prove to the world that straight-edge means I’m better than you! For those of you at home, feel free, place your hand on the screen and feel CM Punk flow through you!».
Jerry Lawler: «Matt, did you just put your hand on the screen?».
Matt Striker: «Yes».
Jerry Lawler: «Do you feel CM Punk flow through you?
CM Punk: «Nobody can stop me!».
Michael Cole: «Guys, the sermon’s over in [Checking the timer] three seconds».
[Friday Night SmackDown. March 12, 2010]
CM Punk: «Don’t stop on account of me. [Starts singing “Happy Birthday” to Rey Mysterio’s daughter, who is scared] Rey, you look scared, but I assure you I’m not out here to hurt you, and I’m not out here to hurt your family. In fact, I’m happy that we’re all here – my family and yours. And today’s a big day, we all need to celebrate the occasion, and it doesn’t get any bigger that WrestleMania, Rey, so that’s exactly why I wanna challenge you to a match at WrestleMania. I also wanna challenge you to a match tonight. And I don’t mean later in the show, Rey. I mean now. I mean, as in, right now!».
Rey Mysterio: «Come on Punk. This ain’t the time».
CM Punk: «Don’t be sad. Aaliyah, since it’s your birthday, sweet, innocent little Aaliyah, I’ll tell you what. As my birthday present to you, I’ll let you shut your eyes while I reduce your daddy to tears and make him beg for my mercy. And Dominik. You’re such... you’re all grown up now, aren’t you? We watched you grow up before our very eyes, but I don’t think you ever heard your father squeal like a pig from somebody repeatedly stomping his surgically repaired knees, so it’s okay if you plug your ears. And beautiful, voluptuous Angie. Now I’m sure you and your loving husband Rey have shared the best of times. But look at me. I promise you, after I do what I’m going to do to your husband, it will be the worst of times. So feel free to cup your hand over your mouth to muffle the screams. What’s the matter, Rey? Don’t you wanna fight me in front of your family? No? Are you afraid that your family’s gonna watch you get hurt? You’re a coward! I know it; deep down inside, Dominik knows it; your wife has always known; and now on her 9th birthday, your sweet innocent little Aaliyah knows it. All these people here know it, Rey, you’re a coward! What’s it gonna take? Huh, Rey? Where’s Giant-Killer Rey Mysterio at? [Crowd chants “619”] Where's your 619, huh, Rey? Where’s the ultimate underdog, Rey? Rey, where’s your machismo? Where’s your machismo, Rey?! I’ll tell you where, Rey. Your machismo, your courage: you never had it. What’s it gonna take, Rey? Huh? Rey, I’ll even drop down to your level, Rey. [Gets down on his knees] Come on, Rey! So, you’re turning me down? You won’t fight me? What’s it gonna take, Rey? [Gets up] What’s it gonna take, Rey?! Not now?! Not now?! [Slaps Rey across the face | Rey Mysterio then walks away very frustrated with his family] Come on, Rey! Come on, now! There he is, ladies and gentlemen! There’s your superhero!».
Matt Striker: «He’s got no alternative but to protect his family».
CM Punk: «Watch him take his walk of shame! But one more thing, sweet little princess Aaliyah...». [Sings “Happy Birthday” to her in a disturbing type way]
[Night of Champions. September 19, 2010]
I love Chicago. [Crowd cheers]
«I love the parks, i love Navy Pier, i love the skyline, i love the museums, i love the history, I LOVE CHICAGO! [Crowd cheers] What i hate, what i hate, what i despise... is the inhabitants of Chicago. You! [Points to the crowd] You! [Points to the camera] You [points to the crowd again] ruined my beautiful city! You.. you middle class, lazy teamsters. You corrupt politicians, you corrupt police officers. The horrible horrible Chicago White Sox. The Susie Homemakers who fatten up their children with fast food, and then eat a bottle of pills and pass out on the couch. The out of work dads, you people make me sick! [Crowd boos slightly] I’m proud to live here, I’m proud to be from here, I am not proud to live amongst people like you, you are the scum of the earth, and you have ruined a beautiful city, and that for a second time should be burned to the ground, and in it’s ashes, I and I alone will build a Straight-edge utopia. And speaking of fat people that nobody likes, we all saw The Big Show knock me out with his big stupid ham-fist. [Raises fist to camera] And yet, unlike all of you, I don’t run away. I stand here on my own two feet, and I stand here defiant. I stand here confident. This is my house, and I run from nobody. Not any of you, not somebody that’s a foot taller, not somebody that outweighs me by 250 pounds. Tonight, I am David. And Big Show, he can be Goliath. And my slingshot is the power of almighty Straight-edge!».
[One Life One Chance]
«I grew up with an alcoholic father. He never beat me, he never raised a hand against my mother or anything like that, but I’d seen enough stupid and ridiculous things between that, my mother and her prescription pills, and just hanging out with an older crowd when I was a kid, that I didn’t understand a lot of the fun to what partying was, so I just never did it. I didn’t understand waking up next to somebody you don’t remember going to bed with; I didn’t understand getting, you know, blackout drunk and not remembering the good times you have with your buddies; and I feel so strongly about it that I’ve just always been this way: it just made sense».
[Open letter to Teddy Hart posted on livejournal. November 12th, 2003]
«There is no god, and the cage wasn’t 30 feet».
[CM Punk mulls over his future, interview with Slam! Sports. June 6, 2005 | In reference to Triple H and his status in WWE]
«Anybody wants to call me the Triple H of Ring of Honor, I think that’s hilarious. I would prefer to call Triple H the CM Punk of the WWE».
[CM Punk mulls over his future, interview with Slam! Sports. June 6th, 2005]
«It’s a good time to be CM Punk right now».
«Doubt fucks everything. Take a foundation, no matter how strong, sprinkle generously with doubt, and watch it crumble. Me? I’m unfuckwithable. Not this knee, not bad weather, and certainly not the many men that wish bad intentions on me can stop me. I rise up, not like a phoenix, but like the zombie corpse of Dick Murdoch. This brainbuster is for you».
[Talking to a member of the K-9 unit when pulled over]
«Okay, okay! Honestly, you fucking DICK, get the fuck away from my car, or I’ll eat your dog!».
«CM Punk’s myspace, twitter, facebook... simply does not exist. Never has, never will. Now I have to spend my time working to shut down all these borderline frightening people pretending to be me. Remember Faker? Yeah, see, at least he had the decency to be a cool ass rip off of He-man. All blue and shit...giant tape recorder in his chest. Orange hair....yeah. Faker. He’s where it’s at.
You bitches have made me register on my own message board and waste my time that could be spent on better things. Things like not sleeping.
I can’t even believe anybody would believe ANY of these myspace account are mine. Kids: “Someday?!?!”. Religion: “Christianity?!?!”. What in the blue (faker!) hell!? What about some of the awwwwful music these nerds play on the pages? Sweet jeebus. My favorite had to be the douche who says, “Um, I really don’t know what else to say!”. Big red flag there. I always have something to say, and it's never: “Golly, here’s my SHOOT NAME!!!one!! Maria is the dreamy! I luv her!” LEARN HOW TO SPELL!
I leave you with this: It’s hard being me. You couldn’t handle it for a second.
XpunkX».
[Ghost Hunters. October 31, 2006 | In reference to Samoa Joe]
«Have you guys ever ghost hunted in Hawaii? No? Well, I have this fat friend... I shouldn’t say fat, that might offend him, but he’s Samoan and claims to have seen ghosts».
[Ghost Hunters. October 31, 2006 | In reference to moving up the World Wrestling Entertainment roster, despite a lack of a conventional wrestling physique]
«Maybe the ghosts have a glass ceiling? Break through that glass ceiling ghosts! I plan to».
[Ghost Hunters. October 31, 2006 | In reference to moving up the World Wrestling Entertainment roster, despite a lack of a conventional wrestling physique]
«This going out on the Internet? I’m huge on the Internet! Wrestling nerds one and all are helping us out!».
[Ghost Hunters. October 31, 2006 | While in a billiards room to the supposed ghosts]
«Anybody wanna go shoot some pool?».
[Ghost Hunters. October 31, 2006 | Someone continuously prank called the telephone in the house and then not talking which lead to this comment]
«Pete and Repeat are in a boat, Pete jumps out who’s left in the boat?».
[Ghost Hunters. October 31, 2006 | Someone continuously prank called the telephone in the house and then not talking which lead to this comment]
«What’s cool and goes click?». [CM Punk hangs up the phone]
[Ghost Hunters. October 31, 2006 | Referencing a quote from the movie “They Live”]
«I came here to hunt ghosts and chew bubble gum, and I’m all out of bubble gum».
[Ghost Hunters. October 31, 2006 | Beginning line for when Punk answers the phone]
«Yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo. You see dead people?».
[Ghost Hunters. October 31, 2006 | Talking about if he were a ghost]
«I’d be doing some pretty evil shit».
«All your heroes are dead! I killed them!».
«Do you know what it’s like going through life better than everybody? It’s hard».
«Just because you sold seven million albums doesn’t mean you’re talented. It just means that there are seven million people that are stupid as hell».
«Doubt fucks everything. Take a foundation, no matter how strong, sprinkle generously with doubt, and watch it crumble. Me? I’m unfuckwithable. Not this knee, not bad weather, and certainly not the many men that wish bad intentions on me can stop me. I rise up, not like a phoenix, but like the zombie corpse of Dick Murdoch».
«A whole bunch of people told me that if I went to WWE, I’d never make it. But it’s like I never heard them. I never listened. To me, I’m exactly where I belong. I feel like I was born to do this. Whatever your walk in life is, you pick what you want to be, then go ahead and be the best one».
«CM has always stood for one thing: Chicago Made. Chick Magnet? That’s preposterous. Girls don’t like me. I was born and raised in Chicago. The city made me. Punk is just because I’ve always been a smart-mouthed, wise-ass punk. I still am. I was the guy, if a bunch of football players were messing with one of my friends, I’d walk over there and spit in their face».
«I think CM Punk is one of the worst names in the business, but I am what I am».
«He just hit himself in the dinger with a rubber».
«It’s not easy to be me and sometimes it’s not fun. I’m kind of flattered, but also I’m sick of it. I don’t want anybody to think that I have a MySpace. I’m too lazy to go after the fake CM Punk MySpaces, but I figured I’d just let the fans know I do not have a MySpace. I repeat, I do not have a MySpace. I never will. I never have. MySpace is for hooking up with people. I don’t have a MySpace».
«My dad was an alcoholic and my parents…we didn’t have any money and I grew up really poor. I watched them spend all of their money on cartons of cigarettes and stuff like that and I didn’t understand how if we were broke and we couldn’t afford Christmas presents, why could you smoke all of those cigarettes? It’s not like they are making you better…they are killing you. It seemed real idiotic to me».
«I’m Straight Edge for me, so what everyone else is doing, it doesn’t matter. I’ve never been pressured to drink or smoke or anything by any of the boys, and if anything, a lot of them like me because I’m always the designated driver. I’m the one who makes sure everyone gets home alright and I’m happy doing that».
«I think it’s because I’m real. Inside and outside of the ring, what you see is what you get. I’m CM Punk. I’m not trying to be something I’m not. I’m not trying to lie to the people or be fake. I’m not trying to be some crazy, outlandish character. I’m real and they appreciate that. Everything I say, it comes from the heart. It’s all real».
«You can tell that hold is effective because his face is red and the rest of his body is the color of a bottle of 2% milk».
«I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs. I kick people in the face for a living. So, if that’s something you’re into — if you like watching people get kicked in the face — come see me. I’ll probably be your favorite wrestler».
«You ever punched a horse in the eye?».
«Is that a goatee or bullseye for your boyfriend?».
«Have you ever seen a man built like a horse clap like that?».
«I want water breaks ad a fruit plate next time».
«I think somebody’s getting thrown through a window. This is great».
«The Internet? I’m huge on the Internet!».
«Take Necro to the parking lot, I will run the son-of-a-bitch over».
«Keep drinking! I want you to die!».
«Nananana. Hey hey hey… You’re an idiot».
«Who wants to make snow angels?!».
«Do you know what it’s like going through life being better than everybody?».
«If his eyes were any closer together, he’d be a Cyclops».
«Hey, I’m a kind of big deal».
«I’m gonna punch her right in the uterus».
«Hey Dave, do you know what a “nooner” is?».
«You people enjoy being puppets, don’t you?».
«Fuck you Joboo, you mean to tell me that Jesus Christ can’t hit a curve ball?».
«If it doesn’t kill you, use it to kill somebody else…».
«Somebody better throw some streamers for that Hillbilly».
«I want a shirt that says “Fuck you” on it».
«Minoru Suzuki is my hero. I’m going to steal his hair».
«I’m still fixin’ to take over the world because it’s mine God, damn it».
«Fuck you, it’s my birthday».
«And I, soon to be leader of the world, am better than you».
«Did I mention I Got attacked by cats?».
«My name is CM Punk, and I’m at Kinko’s… in Japan!».
«I will clothesline your guts, you pig».
«I despise everything, including you. Except if you’re Samoa Joe».
«I would like complete silence when I’m talking!».
«You dumb bitch, I’m not holdin’ a microphone!».
«See all these cameras here, I’ll kick your ass and it’ll be on YouTube in seconds».
«You’re stupid and ugly and you have no friends».
«Now that’s some good cantaloupe!».
«Doubt fucks everything».
«That’s a very appropriate color he’s wearing. Green».
«Drink up England… I want your liver to fail…».
«CM Punk has always stood for one thing: Chicago made».
«I wanted the belt! I’m a belt mark! I want to sleep with it!».
«You can quote that bitch!».
«I certainly can hurt you faster than any pill you put on your tongue».
«I’m harder than alcohol you can drink».
«I have laughed in the face of temptation time and time again».
«I’m not trying to lie to the people or be fake».
(CM Punk, Phil Brooks.)
Edited by :swansong - 22/6/2012, 20:19. -
:swansong.
User deleted
#aggiornato! quanteee, è stato faticoso xD CITAZIONE[WWE Raw. June 20, 2011] Michael Cole: [Reading e-mail from RAW’s anonymous GM] «And I quote: “Mr. Punk, I understand your demands and I will certainly take them under consideration. However, right now, I’ll ask you to leave the ring”».
CM Punk: «Okay...Cole, you know I love ya, I know you’re just doing your job, but he’s asking me to leave the ring? He/she is asking me to leave the ring? Okay, I’m not...».
[The GM chime rings again]
Michael Cole: «And I quote: “I suggest you leave the ring right now”».
CM Punk: «Until you announce me as the first contender for the WWE Championship, I suggest you watch me make snow angels».
okay, lo ammetto! il nome dell'iniziativa del forum mi è venuta da qui! ahahahahahCITAZIONE«You can quote that bitch!».
questo sarebbe un motto perfetto per il forum **
bè che dire? Io amo quest'uomo. Da quando ha fatto la sua entrata in WWE con Cult Of Personality mi sono resa conto che è lui lì dentro che rende il wrestling piacevole ai miei occhi ed è il mio preferito.
(Edge sempre sul podio con Triple H eh XD)
Mi piace questo suo essere schietto... non ha peli sulla lingue e poi... "He is the Best in the World!"
Edited by :swansong - 23/6/2012, 11:04.
cm punk |
